Something woke me up with a startle, could have been the heavy breathing
not exactly sure
Eyes adjusting to the darkness, somehow I am half here and half not
I know I am not a child, I know the shadowy figure a few feet from me is that
of my loving Christian husband and not my abuser...
but I am finding it so hard to stay focused.
C'mon get it together!
Movement of the bed, the disturbance of my covers and gentle
loving caresses of my husband.
My alarms have been trigger by default I freeze, pretending to be asleep
unmoved by affection.
I hate this. Half here , Half not
My senses are on fire, smells intensified, in my mind I scream no
but the words never escaped my tightly pierced lips... it would be inappropriate...
and he would never understand.
I hate this, Half here, Half not
I want to escape out of my body, my skin crawls, my hair stands
not exactly sure
Eyes adjusting to the darkness, somehow I am half here and half not
I know I am not a child, I know the shadowy figure a few feet from me is that
of my loving Christian husband and not my abuser...
but I am finding it so hard to stay focused.
C'mon get it together!
Movement of the bed, the disturbance of my covers and gentle
loving caresses of my husband.
My alarms have been trigger by default I freeze, pretending to be asleep
unmoved by affection.
I hate this. Half here , Half not
My senses are on fire, smells intensified, in my mind I scream no
but the words never escaped my tightly pierced lips... it would be inappropriate...
and he would never understand.
I hate this, Half here, Half not
I want to escape out of my body, my skin crawls, my hair stands